I came across a really fascinating article in the NYTimes today entitled Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path To Motherhood. If you don’t have a registration to the NYTimes site, the brief synopsis is that interviews and surveys conducted among Harvard and Yale women over the last few decades indicate that as few as 60% remain working in “meaningful” part-time or full-time work by the time they’re in their 40s. The article has a few brief words from various Deans and Professors who have differing ideas on the merits of women choosing motherhood over careers, and quotes a particular Women’s Studies professor as saying:
“They are still thinking of this as a private issue; they’re accepting it,” said Laura Wexler, a professor of American studies and women’s and gender studies at Yale. “Women have been given full-time working career opportunities and encouragement with no social changes to support it. “I really believed 25 years ago,” Dr. Wexler added, “that this would be solved by now.”
My synopsis is not really an adequate characterization of the article, but my reaction to the idea of women choosing childrearing over work is that the choice seems not to be motivated by social mores, but one of what makes those women happy. Career success is not the ultimate judge of the value of a lifetime of endeavors. Why should a group of people sacrifice ultimate happiness in order to achieve what may be to them the equivalent of keeping up with the Joneses? After all, working full-time, and raising children full-time means that a woman, even with the help of her husband, will have almost no free time. Her time will belong to either her work or her family. And, inevitably for some, the regret of not giving their all to their children could manifest itself in deeper unhappiness. If female alumnae of Harvard and Yale want to work until their 30, then stay at home to raise their children (which from every parent I’ve ever talked to is the most fulfilling experience of their life), then that should be something that society makes room for. It seems to me that society needs to put a bit more value on real emotional and spiritual success in life, and less on monetary and career success. Instead of just trying to make room for full-time/full-time (mother/career) women by building more day care centers, why not make room for full-time/part-time women who want to succeed at the most important goal in their lives, and contribute to society in their spare time?
